Google Translating
This was (obviously) inspired by The Cave of Dragonflies, so go check out her stuff. Feel free to send me more amusing translations with even more amusing commentary!
4-2
W: Ok, so the longest thing I could think of writing was to put the beginning of a description for a really complicated level I made in SMM2. Hope this ends up completely ridiculous!
OG: The level starts off on a small ledge with P-Balloons. You must use the balloons to fly through a somewhat barren obstacle course. I specifically intended to surprise the player by putting something somewhat boring and easy, which would make them expect the havoc of the rest of the level less. This main part of the level is in the Snow theme, and is in Super Mario World.
French: The level starts on a small ledge with P-Balloons. You have to use the balloons to fly through a somewhat sterile obstacle course. I specifically intended to surprise the player by putting on something somewhat boring and easy, which would make them less expect the havoc from the rest of the level. This main part of the level is in the snow theme, and is in Super Mario World.
W: O.O It's sterile?
Chinese(Simp): The level starts with a small window sill with a P balloon. You must use a balloon to fly over some kind of sterile obstacle course. I especially intend to surprise the players by wearing some boring and simple things, which will make them less anticipating the destruction of other levels. The main part of the level is in the "Snow" theme, which can be found in "Super Mario World".
W: Wearing boring and simple things? What does this have to do with my clothes? It isn't a window sill! Also, the snow theme isn't actually in the original SMW, so that's wrong.
Korean: The level begins with a small window sill with a P balloon. You need to use balloons to fly through any kind of sterile obstacle course. In particular, they try to surprise the player by wearing something boring and simple and making them expect less destruction of the rest of the level. The main part of the level is in the "Eyes" theme, which can be found in "Super Mario World".
W: Any kind of sterile obstacle course? Ok… eyes? Apparently they think that the level has less destruction because the obstacle course is sterile.
Japanese: Levels start on a small window sill with P balloons. You should use balloons to fly any kind of sterile obstacle course. Especially boring simple things will surprise the player by expecting less destruction of the remaining level. The main part of the level is the "eyes" theme that can be found in "Super Mario World".
W: Apparently all levels begin on window sills with P-Balloons. You think someone would be more creative. What is with the eyes thing?
Norwegian: The levels start on a small window sill with P-balloons. You should use balloons to fly some kind of sterile obstacle course. Particularly boring simple things will surprise the player by expecting less destruction of the remaining level. The main part of the level is the "eyes" theme found in "Super Mario World".
W: Mostly the same as Japanese, although "any kind" has become "some kind".
Italian: The levels start on a small ledge with P balloons. You should use the balloons to fly over a kind of sterile obstacle course. Particularly boring simple things will surprise the player by expecting less destruction than the remaining level. The main part of the level is the "eyes" theme found in "Super Mario World".
W: So there are multiple levels now. Good to know.
Chinese(Trad): The level starts from a small ledge with P balloons. You should use the balloons to fly on a sterile obstacle course. Simple things that are particularly boring will surprise the player because the expected damage is less than the remaining level. The main part of this level is the "eye" theme in "Super Mario World".
W: This is uncomfortably accurate.
Greek: The level starts with a small ledge with P. balloons. You must use the balloons to fly on a sterile obstacle course. Simple things that are particularly boring will surprise the player because the expected damage is less than the rest of the level. The main part of this level is the "eye" theme in "Super Mario World".
W: Again, weirdly accurate. Give me something crazy!
A Couple Languages Later: Level P starts with a small pole with a balloon, you have to use balloons to fly around the sterile barrier. Especially annoying simple things surprise the player because the expected damage is less than the rest. A key part of this level is eye contact in Super Mario World.
W: That's more like it! Level P, huh. Where'd we get a small pole? Apparently simple things are annoying. I'll have to keep that in mind.
Step P starts with a small pole and a balloon, you have to use balloons to fly around the fence. Especially annoying things easily surprise the player because the destructive intentions are smaller than the others. An important part of this scenario is the eye contact in Super Mario World.
W: Step P? Is this a dance class, or are we reading IKEA instructions? Also, eye contact is very important in SMW. Gotta keep that in mind for this scenario.
Step P starts with a small pole and balloon, you must use balloons to fly around the fence. Particularly annoying things easily surprise the player because the destructive plans are smaller than the others. An important part of this scenario is eye contact in Super Mario World.
W: ...destructive plans are smaller than the others?
Step P starts with a small stick and balloon, you have to use balloons to fly around the fence. Especially boring things that shock the player because the destructive programs are smaller than the others. An important part of this event is the eye contact in Super Mario World.
W: Yep. A small stick and a balloon. Destructive programs and eye contact events.
STEP P starts with a stick and a small balloon, you need balloons to fly to the edge. Especially something that surprises the players, because there are fewer programs of destruction than the others, the eye contact in Super Mario World is an integral part of the action.
W: I give up.
Absol-ution
OG: Absol, use false swipe!
W: A phrase every respectable trainer has used at least once.
Absolute, use fake swipe!
W: Mmk.
Absolutely use a fake swipe!
W: Ok.
(a little later)
Make sure you use a fake pen!
W: You what?
Toxikit
W: Here I GT'd a description for Toxikit, a fake Pokemon I made a while ago that I'm repurposing for something else.
Toxikit is a universally beloved Pokemon, as it eats trash, keeping the environment healthy.
W: Now, let's translate it!
Poison is a common Pokémon that eats garbage and maintains a healthy environment.
W: Uh. Poison?
Toxins are normal phosphates that use waste and maintain a healthy environment.
W: When did this turn into a science article?
Toxins are normal phosphates, which waste waste and keep the environment healthy.
W: They waste waste? This one was boring.
Pikapoo
Pikachu is so overrated. Sure, it’s kinda cute, but it isn’t that great. Then the world gave me a shiny one.
W: So, just my luck. GT time!
Pikachu is overdone. Yes, it’s pretty, but it’s no better. Then the world gave me a glowing sparkle.
W: So Pikachu is a glowing sparkle?
Pakacho is too much. Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. Then the world gave me light.
W: UHHHHHHHHH I THINK WE’RE DONE HERE.
Haters
People need to stop hating on Paper Mario Sticker Star.
W: Simple, right?
Public hatred of the Paper Mario star must stop.
W: I mean, yeah.
Paper Mario Stars should have national hatred.
W: NO! That’s like the exact opposite of what I said.
The Mario Star page should provoke national hatred.
W: What?
The "Mario Star" page can make people hateful.
W: Huh? Huuuuh? I’m sorry whaaaaat?
Garlic Bread Domain
It’s not disabled by an anti-magic field! You just create the garlic bread!
Textile farming does not stop! Only garlic bread you can make!
W: How did we already get to textile farming?
The textile industry is not finished yet! You can only make garlic!
W: Why does this sound like a sign in a Pokemon game not letting you go somewhere?
Toasted
Toasted: At first level you have become a chef to appease your deity. You get proficiency with cook’s utensils.
W: Another great line from that video.
Freshly cooked: In the first step, you become a chef to comfort your goddess. Good four kick kick.
W: Freshly cooked: fine.
You have become a chef to comfort your goddess: fine.
GOOD FOUR KICK KICK. WHAT?!
Freshly Cooked: In the first stage, you become the cook to comfort your goddess. Good four shots.
W: Apparently we’re taking shots now.
Prepare a new dish: The first step is to be a chef and to please the host. Four good peppers.
W: I-... I don’t know how to respond to this.
Orange
The bottle has orange bangs. We eat the shorts, and all of the shirts. Go to the military.
W: I tried to think of something completely random.
The orange exploded in the bottle. We all eat shorts and shirts. For military service.
W: Hmm. I’m not sure what I expected.
An orange color appeared in the bottle. We ate all our pants and cats, more.
W: What.
The orange color appears on the bottle. We ate more of our pants and cats.
W: STOP EATING YOUR PANTS AND CATS!
The bottle appears orange. Cats ate a lot of pants.
W: I could see that.
The pot is like a lamp. Cats eat a lot of pants
W: Uh, punctuation much? How did an orange bottle become a lamp-like pot?
Cats look like cats. Cats eat a lot of pants
W: I never woulda thunk it.
Shorts
I like shorts. They’re comfy, and easy to wear!
W: A classic.
I need shorts They are simple and easy to use!
W: Apparently he needs more.
I need shorts. Simple and easy to use!
W: Is this an infomercial?
I want a simple and convenient short film to use!
W: Uh… how did we get to movies?
I want to use a simple and comfortable short film!
W: How are films comfortable?
Hamilton
I’m just like my country. I’m young, scrappy and hungry. I’m not throwing away my shot.
W: A great line that I slightly edited for translation purposes.
I love my country. I was young, busy and hungry. I will not waste it.
W: Hmm.
I love your page. It is soft, warm and golden. I do not have time to treat myself.
W: UH.
I love my country. I was young, busy and hungry. I'm not using it.
W: Huh? You want my shot? Sure, I’m not using it, but if you break it, you buy it.
I love my country. I was very young, busy and hungry. I am useless.
W: Don’t say that about yourself.
I love my country. He was still young, busy, and hungry. I'm an idiot.
W: Who is he? Why do you think you’re an idiot?
I love my country. He was still young, busy, and hungry. I'm stupid.
W: This is clearly what I’m getting.
Garlic Bread 2
Garlic bread garlicbread google garlic bread lasagna siri when can I get the nearest garlic bread garlic b
W: Absolutely nobody will get this reference. I don’t care.
Garlic Bread Garlic Bread - ArticleSet.com Google Garlic Bread Lasagna Siri When to get the next lasagna bread?
W: WHat on god's green earth is articleset.com. What is lasagna bread and why do I want it.
Garlic Bread Garlic Bread-ArticleSet.com Google Garlic Bread Garlic Siri When can I find other lasagna bread?
W: WHAT IS LASAGNA BREAD.
Garlic Bread Garlic Bread - ArticleSet.com Google Garlic Bread Raw Garlic When do I find another bread from lasagna?
W: I literally removed articleset.com and kept going and it came back. Also, lasagna is giving me clues, and they are made of bread. I think I never want to hear articleset.com again.
The Hobbit Song
Translated by Pug of Utter Destruction
Much higher than the cold misty mountains
Like deep caves, ancient fortresses and towers
We have to go before dawn
Take a look at our white magic gold
Disable old mail
When the hammer fell like a bell
Sleeps deep in the dark
Empty mountain
Indeed, our lord, king and old fairies,
It has a very beautiful pale gold
When they occur, they rise as the work progresses,
Steel, hidden beads
Silver chain
Hot stars hang online
Twisted Silong
Moonlight connection
Much higher than the cold misty mountains
Like deep caves, ancient fortresses and towers
We have to go before dawn
To back up lost gold
Cut your own pot
Gold digger harp
The music was long but long ago.
In fact, this sound is heard and sung or a medium
In Edom, pines were burned.
Windy, right at night
Surprisingly red
Sand and lamp
A bell rings in the valley
The pale man
With a spicy dragon
Make my house and tower smaller for the weak
The mountain rises in the moonlight
Goblin, news of the accident is heard everywhere
They died in court
Under the moon
Boring autumn far in the mountains
Closed in a canyon, deep in the image of the tower and the city
We have to go before dawn
The guitar wins a gold medal
Eric White Gale
However, no contact with the forest
Darkness tonight
Sinking darkness sinks
Cold wind up
Currently on, grilled motorcycle
The branch complained and the tree was picked up:
Leaves and wreath
The wind blows from the east.
And then I quit
However, it is difficult to get scared and get into trouble.
Whistle
Running on a soft grassy accent
Reed and keep giving up
Oh, a tank of cold and hot water
When competition between clouds intensifies
Which passed his beam
You also laughed at the dragon in front
Rocks and darkness;
There's a fog in the air
The world started and the people who stayed
At night and at sea
The moon hangs in the wind
The stars are blown up by a light source
Mountains and darkness
Has he come to the king in their hearts?
Death shows bad
Does not the enemy always die?
Sharp sword
Quick arrow for the door
Gold likes to watch
Dwarves are not injured
Disable old mail
When the hammer fell like a bell
Sleeps deep in the dark
Empty mountain
Silver chain
Hanging wreath
Wire stranded from the kite
Then he turned on the harp.
The throne of the mountain has been released again!
UM! People, you heard the call!
Do not act like this! Do not act like this! Garbage?
Friend King
At the top we call it cold
"To resist the old?
Wait, go to the king's gate
All the jewels and the gold in his hand are rich,
The king enters his bedroom
Mountains and darkness
You're scared to kill a snake's dead
One day we will fall
Happy to contact headquarters and headquarters?
It may be windy but it will not rain
We have to go before dawn
Much higher than mountains and forests
In Rivendell, I have to live among the lost elves
Killed during cleaning
We quickly turned on Heather and the trash can
Then we can not say
Because the enemy is worried about us
Under the armchair
We are finally working
How our country is developing
I do not have to go
Go before sunrise!
Pug: Honestly, this is far better than the original song. Especially the spicy dragon part. And the medal-winning guitar.
W: Yeah, this is pretty great.
Sand
I hate sand. It gets everywhere, it’s always stuck between my toes, and it’s just plain gross!
W: Now let’s translate it.
I hate sand. It affects everything, and usually you just don't like what's at your fingertips!
W: Um. I mean, yeeeessss question mark?
I hate sand. Not everyone likes it if you can get it at all!
W: Not what I said, but accurate.
I hate sand. When you find them, not everyone likes them!
W: ...when you find who?
Firefly
I’d like to catch a firefly that’s far away. You got my whole dang thing. I like donuts.
W: Let’s see how this thing turns out.
I need a butterfly in the back. I have all kinds of food. I like baked goods.
W: This sounds like assorted chatter at a Walmart.
I want the butterfly on my back. There are different types of food. I want a cross.
W: >.> You want a what?
Butterflies need a variety of foods. I would like a cross
W: I’m sure they do. I’m not giving you a cross, no matter how politely you ask.